Much like children, we adults will sit down and write out a list of things we would like for Christmas. Some actually write it out on paper, some of us keep a running list in our head; however, when asked what I want for Christmas, I usually reply "a gift card from such and such store".
I'm going to give you a warning here...this post is PG-Rated. Some of you may even throw up in your mouth a little...just sayin'.
Soooo, if I have a mental list, then why wouldn't I tell someone what they could purchase for me? Because, some of the things I want for Christmas cannot be purchased...stuff like this:
Messy Bun: I've always primarily had short hair. There have been a few times in my life when I've had long hair...times where I've threatened to kill people or went on screaming-fit rampages while it was growing out.
I'm Italian, my hair is thick and unmanageable so I keep it short. But ever since all the new hair straightening lotions, potions, notions and other stuff have been out there and that cute messy bun came on the scene, I've longed for long hair. Unfortunately, I cannot endure the growing out process so I pine away for long hair and the messy bun. I'm seriously considering a wig!
No More Leg Hair: Yes, I know this is easily accomplished with a good razor or laser hair removal, but I want to never have to experience Sasquatch legs again.
Menopause sort of killed off the growth of leg hair, but I started taking collagen for my skin, so the hair has shown a resurgence in growth...in abundance!
Skinny Thighs: No matter how hard I work out, I cannot get skinny thighs!
The snickerdoodles, the eggnog, the Hershey's Kisses, the cupcakes, the mountains of pasta, the endless pizzas, the all-you-can-eat nacho bar at my favorite Mexican restaurant...it all just puddles on my thighs! I am at a complete loss as to how to alleviate/correct this problem! What is wrong with being able to eat anything I want and NOT gain weight...come on Santa, give a girl a break!
Fat Cheeks: I have high cheekbones and hollow cheeks.
Is it too much to ask that all the fat that accumulates on my thighs start accumulating on my face and stretch out those wrinkles that multiply daily with no effort from me? I mean, what is the deal?!? No one told me when I was between the ages of 12 and 18 that all those days of sunbathing with nothing but iodine and baby oil smeared all over my body and face would cause me to look like a shriveled prune when I got older. Where were all those PSA's on skin shriveling wrinkles when I needed them??!!
That about wraps up what I want for Christmas...what about you? What's on your list?
I'm going to give you a warning here...this post is PG-Rated. Some of you may even throw up in your mouth a little...just sayin'.
Soooo, if I have a mental list, then why wouldn't I tell someone what they could purchase for me? Because, some of the things I want for Christmas cannot be purchased...stuff like this:
Messy Bun: I've always primarily had short hair. There have been a few times in my life when I've had long hair...times where I've threatened to kill people or went on screaming-fit rampages while it was growing out.
I'm Italian, my hair is thick and unmanageable so I keep it short. But ever since all the new hair straightening lotions, potions, notions and other stuff have been out there and that cute messy bun came on the scene, I've longed for long hair. Unfortunately, I cannot endure the growing out process so I pine away for long hair and the messy bun. I'm seriously considering a wig!
No More Leg Hair: Yes, I know this is easily accomplished with a good razor or laser hair removal, but I want to never have to experience Sasquatch legs again.
Menopause sort of killed off the growth of leg hair, but I started taking collagen for my skin, so the hair has shown a resurgence in growth...in abundance!
Skinny Thighs: No matter how hard I work out, I cannot get skinny thighs!
The snickerdoodles, the eggnog, the Hershey's Kisses, the cupcakes, the mountains of pasta, the endless pizzas, the all-you-can-eat nacho bar at my favorite Mexican restaurant...it all just puddles on my thighs! I am at a complete loss as to how to alleviate/correct this problem! What is wrong with being able to eat anything I want and NOT gain weight...come on Santa, give a girl a break!
Fat Cheeks: I have high cheekbones and hollow cheeks.
Is it too much to ask that all the fat that accumulates on my thighs start accumulating on my face and stretch out those wrinkles that multiply daily with no effort from me? I mean, what is the deal?!? No one told me when I was between the ages of 12 and 18 that all those days of sunbathing with nothing but iodine and baby oil smeared all over my body and face would cause me to look like a shriveled prune when I got older. Where were all those PSA's on skin shriveling wrinkles when I needed them??!!
That about wraps up what I want for Christmas...what about you? What's on your list?
photo credits: Messy Bun (stylecaster.com); Laser Hair Removal (buzzfeed.com); Baby Fat Cheeks (boeskool.com); Luscious cupcake (pixabay.com)
I'm cracking up here!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been growing out bangs that I have had for over 40 years and so many times I have wanted to just chop them off again - almost there.
Bless your heart...I would end up shooting someone if I had to endure growing out my hair...LOL The girl who cuts my hair suggested one of the new hair pieces that might help me grow it out...which will be a nightmare! :-)
DeleteA flat stomach, thicker hair, arthritis pain to be gone, energy.
ReplyDeleteDitto!! I need these same things...minus the arthritis pain, but plus relief from knee pain from an injury I have!
DeleteHow fun! I just want the pain in my hands, wrists, shoulders and neck gone.
ReplyDeleteBrenda
I do hope that pain gets better. I know it makes it difficult to get things done around your home! Love and hugs!
DeleteYou're so adorable, Benita!!! How awesome would that be to be able to eat and drink anything we want and NOT GAIN WEIGHT!!! Oh, Santa, help a girl out here, will ya?? xo
ReplyDeleteI would love it!!! Also, I want to stop looking like a Christmas candle melting...with body parts sagging all over the place...LOL Love and hugs!
DeleteI love your list. I cannot grow my hair out either. Just too frustrating for too long a time. So in the summer it is a pixie and in the winter I grow my bangs long and keep the rest short. I would love a metabolism for Christmas. With thyroid disease and a very early hysterectomy when I was 34 has left me without one. What's that saying Dear Santa I want a nice fat bank account and skinny body and don't mess that up like you did last year lol!
ReplyDeleteHave fun getting ready for the big day. Hugs my sweet friend.
Kris
LOL...I've seen the saying about mixing up the two and I think it is hilarious! I'm with you on the metabolism and for me, not having to take HRT. My hysterectomy was at 29 and my fat-burning days stopped right then! So frustrating!! LOL Hope you are having a fun Christmas season! Love and hugs!
DeleteYou are so funny...and I love your list! My family keeps asking me what I want and sadly my list is a lot like yours...at the top is a smoother neck and tighter skin all over. Although I doubt I will be finding it in my stocking! ;) xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you! 😊 I do wish these things would happen. I told Edward the other day that it was fine to age but why do we have to end up looking liking a candle that’s melting??!! I won’t find these things in my stocking either…no one has hit the lottery in our house…LOL Love and hugs!
DeleteI have been wishing for poor circulation in my legs because a doctor once told me people with poor circulation don't have leg hair! Ho Ho Ho...
ReplyDeleteLOL...that's too funny! What we women go through to keep smooth, hair-free skin! Since I've been taking the collagen, my legs feel much like a porcupine! Love and hugs!
DeleteI love your list! I guess with lots of money, all those things are attainable! I just want less pain all over and skinny TONED thighs...ya know, pull the wrinkled skin up and tack it down somewhere else :-) There really is nothing I want for Christmas this year....except maybe a new kitten. Going to meet one this weekend!
ReplyDeleteThank you ma’am…I have lots more but tried to keep it simple…LOL You are exactly right…LOTS of money! I’m with you on the skin tightening…I told Edward it’s a shame that we have to end up looking like melting candles as we get older…it is not a good thing at all! Awww, that’s so sweet! Did you get it? Love and hugs!
DeleteHa! Ha!
ReplyDeleteIt is my belly. I workout, walk 3 miles each day and do you think I can get that baby belly to tighten back up. It does not, I think it is because it is just stretched out from having those boys. ;-) Oh yes, and when I laugh too hard or have a big sneeze another thing happens as well.. I also blame that on having babies.
Santa.. can you fix these free of charge and pain. LOL
Oh girl, I know exactly what you mean! All those ab exercises do exactly nothing for my belly. Makes me wonder if some of these people have ab implants...LOL And yes, the ol' "let's see how long I can cross my legs" syndrome...LOL It is annoying and yes, children using our bladders for a bouncy house caused that problem! Love and hugs!
DeleteNo more leg hair, a straight spine, real teeth to last the rest of my lifetime, and neck pain be gone! Is that too much to ask????
ReplyDeleteNope, not too much at all! I think the universe conspires against us getting everything we want for Christmas! 😉 Love and hugs!
DeleteLOL! This was certainly a different Christmas list …
ReplyDeleteFor me, I am just so thankful to enjoy each day, and if I have a few aches and pains well that just comes with age!!!
Have a great Christmas-time:)
All the best Jan
Jan, it is definitely different...all in fun! I'm with you on that...I enjoy each day and try to have fun in the process. As long as the aches and pains are tolerable, I'm good! Have a great weekend! Love and hugs!
DeleteI have been taking Texas Superfood for a couple of years now and have no problem growing my hair (get it cut religiously every 6 weeks - hairdresser can't believe it) - but be forewarned....ALL of your hair grows easily...eyebrows, lashes, legs, etc. And I tried the laser hair removal but apparently too late. It does not work on light (or grey) hair which I found out after my 4th attempt...ugh....back to European Wax Salon I go!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I will have to check that out. My hair grows pretty quickly and I have to go every 4-5 weeks for a cut, but if there is something that can make it grow longer quicker, I would love it. I would definitely sacrifice the shaving for longer hair on my head! :-) Hugs!
Delete