What Is This Gelatinous Muck?!

While we were in Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg a few weeks ago, we dropped into a cute little spice shop.  At the counter I saw this package of beautiful purple rice.  I asked the sales girl what type of flavor it had and if it had a pleasant taste.  She said she couldn't really describe the flavor but it had a great taste.  After asking a second time, I still couldn't get an answer about the taste, but I decided to buy it anyway....after all, it was purple...and pretty.


I learned a valuable lesson on Sunday when I prepared this rice....never buy food because you think it's pretty and might make a good blog post!



Let me start by saying....I followed the directions!  But this stuff was a mess!  The instructions said to bring water and rice to a boil, turn the heat down to low and let it simmer for 40 minutes.  Then remove from heat and let stand for 10 minutes.  Sounds simple enough.


Well, after 10 minutes of simmering, I had to add water.....it had turned into a Gelatinous Muck!  After that, every time I checked it, I had to add more water.  I called the hubster over to take a look and we both stood there gawking at the mess, and then we both said the dumbest words anyone has ever spoken...."why is it all sticky?"  See that package in the photo up there?  What does it say?  Purple Sticky Rice!

Gone were the hopes of seeing nice, fluffy, pretty, purple rice on my plate.  Instead, we were going to be eating something that strangely resembled fish eggs...clumpy, lumpy fish eggs!


This rice had no flavor and had a little bit of crunch in every bite.  I wanted to do like this little kid and spit it all out, but decided to mind my manners while at the table.  Let me tell you, it took a lot of water to wash that bite down!



I'm not sure if we bought a bad batch or if our taste buds expected something quite a bit more spectacular, but this package did not deliver.  Blech!!

Now, I am stuck with a container full of Gelatinous Muck!  I wonder if I can have an elaborate dinner party in the new neighborhood and tell everyone it is caviar??!!  Everyone expects it to be tasteless and....blech!


38 comments

  1. Kris asked and you enlightened us. Haha Don't ever let the hubster know we like him and think he's funny....he'll want want his own blog !!! The plate of food did look wonderful though..... Hug's TT

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    1. LOL…I won’t tell him! ;-) Thank you so much! The rice wasn’t horrible, it just wasn’t good! LOL I knew I would be able to post about a couple of those food items….tomorrow will be the cornbread! :-) Hugs!!

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  2. Any rice that's called purple sticky can stay on the shelf. :) You tried though and that's what it's all about. :)

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    1. LOL...it was such a mess and was just so globby...LOL. If I had seen the word "sticky" when I bought it, it would have definitely stayed on the shelf! :-)

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  3. Do you need to set any posts at the new house? Maybe you could use it for filler. ;D

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    1. LOL.....it would be perfect for that!! And yes, we will be having a fence put up eventually....I could use it for that! It has hardened so much while in the fridge, I think it would work! :-)

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  4. Ohhhh this is sooooo funnnnnnny!!! "the True Story" behind the picture!!!..

    I admit I was quite taken with the dinner plate you posted, before. Purple Rice!!! Quite intriguing!

    And then.............

    The rather *nasty* truth........

    Love it!!!!!

    "Truth In Blogging" and all that jazzzzzzz.

    Hugs for swift packing,
    Tessa

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    1. LOL...thank you so much! I always like for our dinner to look good and sometimes, looks can definitely be deceiving! Yes ma'am...the awful truth...I figured I should warn people before they buy that stuff! I decided if I want colored rice in the future, I would just add in a few drops of food coloring! Hugs!!

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  5. I have a "craft" project for the purple rice. Don't cook it, pour it raw into a glass cylinder and place a candle on it. Bam! you have crafted!!! Just don't break the glass cylinder. ;) ;)

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    1. Mimi, that sounds just awesome! I think I will do that…it is not worth eating…LOL Thank you for your suggestion! :-)

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  6. Benita you crack me up!!!! It does look like caviar! I say make a craft out of it!!!
    Have a great day.
    Kris

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    1. LOL..it does, doesn't it? That's part of why I used the "Overboard" video. I will, I like Mimi's suggestion...or I may send it to Gianna and let her glue it on a board to make a map! :-)

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  7. i have a rule of thumb.
    i never eat black food. or dark purple. or anything that globs together like mucus.
    it would not even make it into a "container full" in my life. i never waste food.
    but that... i would cheerfully put into the garbage disposal.
    and yes. i know there are starving children everywhere. but i wouldn't even do that to them!
    you're hilarious. and adventurous. and totally charming. LOLOL!!!!

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    1. Thank you so much! And like you, I don’t like wasting food, but this is one of those things the dog won’t even eat, so I dare not give it to humans for consumption…LOL. It was truly awful! LOL

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  8. That is funny! I was waiting for that recipe, but that is not what I thought it would be either. I was expecting fluffy, pastel, light fare. Oh well, live and learn and in the end, it really did make a good blog post! Ps. I like MimiG's idea! Even you and your self proclaimed lack of craftiness could do that! ;-) xo

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    1. It is nothing like I expected either and I was so disappointed! It is definitely blog material...ranking right up there with the failed craft projects...LOL. I like Mimi's idea also. It will be colorful and it is something I can't screw up! :-)

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  9. I would chuck the whole thing out and call it a good lesson learned. It is just not right to have to cook rice for 40 minutes! And that is why I don't make brown rice....blech!!

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    1. I'm with you on that...we've been saving it for trash day, which is tomorrow....and out it goes! Cooking rice should take no more than 5 minutes, just like the box says...LOL. I don't do brown rice that often....maybe twice a year and it is pretty tasteless....like chewing cardboard! :-)

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  10. All I see is glorious, heavenly cornbread! ;) So, so funny, Benita! I found this recipe on Flickr it's a Coconut-Purple Sticky rice tart http://www.neverhomemaker.com/2010/01/puddin-on-ritz-purple-sticky-rice-tart.html. It sounded interesting, but the cooked rice by itself, I couldn't eat it. I second the Purple rice candle craft, especially for Halloween! hugs, Christine

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    1. That tart looks a lot more edible than the mess on the plate, that’s for sure…LOL. Yeah, the cornbread is good…that’s my post tomorrow…with that stone ground cornmeal…YUM! Yep, the candle idea is definitely a winner! :-) Hugs!

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  11. LOL!! I like the Halloween idea! Brains anyone???

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    1. Ohhhh, yeah…..brains! That works also…I have an awesome brain mold and this would stay congealed perfectly for that….see, I knew I wrote about this horrible stuff for a reason! :-)

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  12. Three cheers for edible food...Hip Hip Hooray! Benita, I'm sorry that the pretty purple rice dish fell flat. I agree with the others about using it in a bowl with a candle.

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    1. LMAO...you are too funny! Yeah, I stepped out of my comfort zone and this is what happens...same with the craft projects. I need to stick to what I know...LOL

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  13. LOL If you'd done this around Halloween you could have had little kids blindfolded and feeling it and telling them it was witches gizzards :)

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    1. LOL…I love it…all those wonderful ideas for Halloween. Now I’m going to have to buy some more of this stuff just to scare the little kids!! LOL

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  14. Yes, you can use it as caviar--as a "garnish". Remember in You've Got Mail when Tom Hanks ate all the garnish at the party and Meg Ryan was so put out with him?

    I probably would have bought it too as I love all kinds of rice. Your plate looks pretty, Benita. That cornbread--with its secret ingredient--should have made up for the rice!

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    1. LOL…yes, I remember that! I would have let him eat this…LOL Thank you so much Dewena. The cornbread was delicious and I’m hoping to get my post up about it for tomorrow…we’ll see how the evening goes! :-)

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  15. I would not eat it because of the color. I do like wild rice which is not really rice but a grain of some sort. Maybe add dried cranberries to make it very colorful!?! Your photograph had us all fooled.

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    1. The dried cranberries would have definitely been an improvement. I was just so disappointed and frustrated. I should have noticed that it was sticky rice, but I was too enamored with the color and imagining how pretty it would be. I normally don't pick odd color foods, but I thought with rice, it was pretty safe. I was wrong...LOL

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  16. Aug. 20th

    Thank you for your words, about my son. We are all feeling great relief.

    Tessa

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    1. You are so welcome Tessa! I know you are all glad he is feeling better! Hugs!!

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  17. Bummer the pretty purple didn't turn out!

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    1. Yeah, it was disappointing..I will just use food coloring next time! :-)

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  18. I love that movie. In fact it's my mom's favorite :)

    I love caviar, but that rice looks revolting LOL I hate it when I buy something that looks great, but sucks. At least it wasn't the main course! I've had that happen. NOT okay.

    I pinned the meatloaf though ;)

    xo

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    1. It is one of my favorites….we watch it just about every time it is on! I have never tasted caviar, so I have no idea what I’m talking about….LOL And yes, this rice was the worst!! When I took it out of the fridge to throw it away, it was like a block of cement…LOL. Thank you so much for pinning the meatloaf…I really appreciate that and hope you enjoy it when you try it! Hugs!!

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  19. HAHAHAHA! Benita you crack me up. I look forward to reading your posts. Sorry about the rice. I typically don't cook rice per the directions since it can be quite different from the picture. I typically cook rice the same way regardless of the type of rice. I may add more water when cooking brown rice. Side note---Overboard!!! I love that movie. It's one of my favorites, but I am partial to any Goldie Hawn movie. :)

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    1. LOL.....thank you! You know, sometimes all you can do is laugh at the mess that sometimes happen in the kitchen and mark it as a "lesson learned". I really try to follow directions, but am learning that sometimes, gut instinct works best. :-) I love Goldie Hawn also and this is one of my most favorite movies. We watch it all the time and it just never gets old! She has such a great onscreen personality!

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